London Gatwick (UK) 12.25pm - Nantes (France) 14h50

Ready ? Steady ? Gooo !

When I saw that the plane didn’t sell any Fortune cookies, I knew that Flywouldnotbemyfriend. Talking to non-English people : Am I the only one who doesn’t understand what they say in the speakers ? And imagine the expression on my face when I heard a lady talking in English with an African accent, last time.

Well, after having a quick chat with the sun “Oh it’s been a long time, where were you ? I missed your sunshines, be brave you can punch the clouds who/which? poo-poo their snow”, and seeing the sea, here the ground. Wait I didn’t know that Nantes was so close to the Manche ! And I heard that we are in Jersey (what! I didn’t know there was a city called Jersey in France), in the airport I saw only English magazines and stuff. Get it we are still in UK! I just checked on Google maps : Jersey is on an isle next to St Malo (France).

Anyway, we had to stop because of one of the plane’s door I think so. We had to wait it to be fixed or to have another plane. No American hot gay boy to talk to and worst : NO MUSIC ! Back to the plane, had a nap, woke up 3-4 times with my mouth opened : the man would have think that he was sitting next to a… fish.

Nantes here I am, what is this pouring rain, it’s supposed to rain in UK not here ! Out of the plane : “What’s this snow, this wind ? I want to stay over the clouds, lucky Angels !”.

Ok it’s 17h40, my train leaves at 18h15 : 10min to find my suitcase, running, 20min in the bus, stupid red trafic lights : TRAIN STATION ! Why are there 20 000 000 people ?! “Geeeet ouuuuut of my wayyyyy”, I whispered. 2min to take the ticket, credit cart, code, DON’T CARE OF YOUR RECEIPT ! 3min to get in the train.

And believe it or not, but I bet the time stopped. 20metres before reaching the platform, and a train stopped throwing 50 000 000 people. I was running “Dégaaagezzz” it was like swimming against the currents, the ocean full of sharks taking the wrong direction. But as a doplhin, I could move gently but quickly behind these parasites with my 15.2kg suitcase !

WAIIIIT I can’t see MY train !!!! (“to the right, to the right” sang Beyonce, yes she was there) OUF ! It was hidden ! GET IN !

Bonus : next to the lew where I could go 10min after breathing properly !